PIZZAFACE

my hand fell into a fritös full of boiling oil. twice. -.-

but on the plus side i am now sjukskriven for sweden's gruppspelsmatcher! always something, eh?

Since this weekend is Popaganda, I just went to see the B&S concert, and me and Åsa are planning to make our way to Denmark for Roskilde, I've had several variables keeping music on my mind. Moreso than usual, that is.

And I've been thinking. A lot of people that I know are so pretentious about music, and what styles they like. There is a certain type of person that feels the need to announce what they consider to be their positive qualities to the world, because they worry that these qualities won't have the power to shine through on their own, I suppose. There is something of that in the person that talks about being so 'indie,' or tries to catch others out in their ignorance of some new, hip band - I hate that. It's snobbery, such terrible snobbery, pure and simple.

For me, at least, this snobbery with regards to music is so utterly confusing, too: I just don't see the point. I listen to quite a few bands that are, I think, technically considered 'indie' - but as I find this label ridiculous anyway I just consider it either rock or pop. I also listen to classic rock. Some punk. I love nothing better than singing along to schlager after a handful of pints. I don't even know what to answer when a new acquaintance asks me what type of music I listen to, and I'd certainly never have the gall to announce myself so immersed in a style of music that I could use it to describe myself - "punk", "indie", or such. (Speaking of this, I think it remains true that if you have to beat people over the head with having a certain quality, you probably don't!)

And that's okay with me. I consider myself to have a good taste in music, naturally. Otherwise why would I be listening to it? But this is enough for me, so what I want to know is, where does this need, to prove to other people that our taste in music is good, come from? What is it supposed to achieve? Oh, I find it all so strange.

i'm just after getting back from the belle & sebastian concert, and, i'm sorry to say it, girls, but it's official: stuart has overtaken fran as the no. 1 scottish musician in my heart. <3 both stuart and stevie have such an incredible charisma - stuart is pretty obviously awesome at getting the audience going; he bounces along like mad, mick jagger-style, and makes us all bounce with him, but stevie's got a more subtle, geek chic thing goin' on.

the crowd was actually really good. i'd been worried earlier, 'cause they'd moved the show from berns to annexet, and i'd thought it would lose some of the whole 'club gig' atmosphere. and, naturally, it did, but as it turns out, this was all the better; everyone was just DANCING the whole time. i've never seen anything like it. it really helped make up for me the fact that they played mostly songs from the life pursuit (of course) which isn't really my favourite album of the lot.

did i mention that i love stuart? i think it needs more emphasis. i can't help it; you would love him too if you'd seen the guy stage-dive and sing a song there, being held up by the audience (me!). <3 when they came back for the encore (if you find yourself caught in love and the boy with the arab strap. no sleep the clock around, v. sad) and i was singing along to all the lyrics, i had this flash where i completely forgot about all the other people in the audience, and just felt like it was just me there, listening to the band; it felt really personal, in some bizarre way. i think everybody should have a moment like that at any concert, really.

So, my year's plan has been entirely, ah, rescheduled. In fact, because I am, well, me - my plan for the next couple of years has been rescheduled. Yes, the Asia trip has been cancelled, reason being that my ex-boyfriend is a twit. A reason I feel I can apply to most things that are wrong with my life with pleasant satisfaction.

I spent yesterday wallowing in self-pity and being generally self-destructive, muttering clichéd things like "everything is so hollow" and "there is nothing to look forward to in my life now, because apparently a trip to Asia was everything in my life" (somewhat paraphrased) to myself.

But now my mourning period is over. Yes, that is something I decided myself, rather than feeling it, which I realise increases the chances of a relapse. Even so.

I am a flexible woman - or at least I've decided I'm to be one. One plan falls through, I can make another one. Or five new ones. Or, even better, I can stop planning my entire life, and see what happens. I am like Rocky, and I am not going to let any stupid ex-boyfriends make me feel like my life is useless just because he doesn't want to go on holiday.

So world, I think I may see you from London this fall.

looks like i'm not going to asia anymore, which feels like crap. so i need to find a new plan to have something else to look forward to. any and all suggestions about what i can do instead this fall are much appreciated.